How To Speed Fart
Speed Farting is the fastest growing Sport in the Country. People
young and old, Overweight and and thin are learning to Speed Fart! Its so simple and you can loose weight, gain a stronger heart and even help the Ozone!
Step By Step Instruction -
1 – Eat something the day before, that you know will give you gas, like pizza, or sausage.
2 – Start a slow walk. Don’t Strain!
3 -Gradually increase your speed
4 – Let them rip!!!
Advanced Speed Farting and Competion Farting
The secrect is a KNEE BRACE. It helps release gas. Doctors in Germany and France have tested using a KNEE BRACE on Flatulence Patieces with surprising results! They found that the brace actually reileves gas by putting pressure on the main nerve running from the Butt down the leg. It causes the brain to think the bowels are full and thus releases gas.
ADVANCED SPEED FARTING AND COMPETIONS
In Speed farting Races, The Players all use Knee Braces to get that Extra Gas Out during the race!
Knee braces are available at Wlgreens, Eckreds, CVS and other stores. A good Brace runs about 24 bucks but well worth it to get the gas out and prevent knee injuries.
a FART-O-METER is used to count farts and shows how many Calories you burn.